God isn’t afraid of your tantrum.
He’s already in the middle of it.
Because sometimes “just trust God” isn’t enough.
This is the raw, unfiltered story of what healing really looks like — when grief is loud, joy is rebellious, and faith isn’t always pretty.
What happens when the "church girl" breaks the script — and throws a tantrum?
You’ve served faithfully.
Smiled on stage.
Held it all together when everything inside you was unraveling.
But what happens when the pain can’t be polished anymore?
What happens when “being strong” stops working?
"Church Girl Tantrums" is a raw, unfiltered and messy revelation of learning to leave it ALL at His feet, and how even the heaviest tears can lead to the greatest delight.
This book is for the woman who...
Loves Jesus but has grief she hasn’t fully processed
Feels exhausted from spiritual performance
Is tired of shrink-wrapping her pain to stay palatable
Is learning that joy and rage can live in the same body
Is done pretending that her healing needs to look holy to be real
If you’ve ever screamed into your steering wheel after worship…
If you’ve ever whispered, “I can’t do this anymore” into a prayer pillow…
If you’ve ever wondered if God can handle your unfiltered truth —
This is your story too.
Read this if you're on the edge of hope.
This isn’t a polished ministry memoir.
It’s a sacred tantrum written in real time — with mascara-stained pages, voice notes from God, and the kind of breakthroughs that only come after the breakdown.
You won’t find easy answers here. But you will find permission.
To feel. To heal. To stop pretending. And to finally be met — not in your performance, but in your presence.
When you don't think God is listening, ask Him!
This author brings her story to life with honesty and heart. She’s walked through the fire and now helps others find healing through faith. Church Girl Tantrums is a powerful, grace-filled read for anyone navigating life’s storms with God.
Chaotic but elegant, Its Soul Gripping
The author gripped my soul with this book. Raw but elegant. She reminds me to give it to God. There is nothing to big or to small. From her humble roots and hardships, through God's grace she turns hardships into strength and strength into joy.
Raw, and Unapologetically Real
Real down to earth book. She is not afraid to share what God is doing in her life. Messy, Raw, Real. She’s lived the storms, and through God’s grace, shows what it means to turn pain into purpose. I didn't think this book would touch me like it did.
Meet the Author | Carol Cygan
Carol Cygan is a grief survivor, spiritual mentor, and joy centered disruptor who believes that healing doesn’t have to hurt to be holy.
After walking through unthinkable loss and spiritual deconstruction, Carol stopped performing for healing and started living in it messy, embodied, and rooted in joy.
She now creates sacred spaces for women to return to themselves and to God not through pressure, but through presence. Her events, voice, and mentorship invite women to lay down the burden of spiritual perfection and pick up the beauty of wholeness, softness, and honesty.
Carol is the founder of The Joy Experience and The Joy Circle, and she’s on a mission to help women meet God in their full humanity tears, tantrums, laughter and all.
Church Girl Tantrums is her first book and her rawest offering yet.
